The last post I wrote about performance and how we can have patterns that sabotage our success. Nowhere is that more painful than in Relationships. Wanting to be close, whether it’s to your partner, your children or an aging parent, is so important and yet can be really challenging. The single biggest trap most of us fall into is having expectations. Now I can immediately imagine you thinking: “How can you not have expectations?” It can seem almost unthinkable. So what’s a person to do?
As I say on the video on the Strengthening Relationships page on my website, the answer to me is to re-look at your priorities. What’s most important to you? If you truly want connection with the other person then you will set aside your expectations as you focus on the connection. This of course takes patience and composure and that brings my next question: “How balanced are you feeling?” If you are out of balance it’s very easy to be “triggered”. When we have a backlog of frustration and disappointment these emotions will surface very easily and we know the rest of the story.
Clearing past hurts and betrayals and grounding yourself in your own sense of well-being is the key. Easy for me to write that and of course, not so easy to do. But it is possible to be grounded if you get some help with the backlog. Like getting help with the house cleaning – once things are clean it is much easier to keep them that way.
If this is resonating with you and you know you need some help, please be in touch….
“At the heart of life, lie the relationships
we have with other people”
― Henrick Edberg