Because I have just passed the 5 year milestone in my recovery from cancer, it seems appropriate to start with this topic. The mind-body connection is not a new idea for most people today, but it is a very big concept to fully integrate. It’s a bit like digesting a huge Thanksgiving dinner…it doesn’t happen quickly.
Since I graduated with my Masters in Social Work in 1974, a lot has changed. The mind-body connection was definitely not on the curriculum while I was in university. Over the past 40+ years, our thinking about many things has changed immensely, and the understanding that there is a mind-body connection, is one of them. I’m aware that in some cultures there is a rich history and appreciation for this connection, but in “Western society…” not so much.
One of the challenges with the mind-body connection concept is that people automatically think their thoughts will instantly create their reality. “If what I think really does affect my body, I am in deep trouble.” If every thought has the power to change or affect my body, this realization alone could incite terror. It is true that our thoughts affect us, but it’s tricky to articulate how this really works. It is not that one thought alone is going to immediately cause an illness, but what is true is that each thought is a “chemical mix” that moves through the body and has an impact. If, over time, you are constantly thinking negative thoughts and creating a cascade of adrenaline and cortisol through your system, this is going to be hard on your body.
So how does my experience with cancer fit into this whole mind-body thing?
Going through chemotherapy was a powerful learning experience for me, on the mind-body connection. In fact, it was one of those big experiences that I didn’t fully appreciate until much later. What I knew at the time was that I wanted to follow my doctor’s recommendations for chemotherapy, despite having people around me who felt chemotherapy was very bad. I did have my own fears (and who wouldn’t?), having seen movies of horrible experiences graphically portrayed on the screen, but I also had faith in my doctor and those I had consulted. So, in order to really feel good about chemo I needed to clear away any fears I had, and see it as a very positive intervention. With a little help I was able to do that, and arrived on a Monday morning ready to proceed. Two friends, who I knew would be able to see this experience in a positive light, accompanied me and the three of us proceeded into the room.
I was hooked up to the machine, and the three of us settled in for some connecting time. I thought it was a perfect opportunity to catch up with each other, and have some meaningful conversation. I remember thinking how beautiful the light in the room was. It was a sunny day, but this was more than just sunshine, it was as if the whole room glowed. The time passed and it was noon before we knew it. The nurse informed me each time she changed the solutions, and at one point said that the next one would be the “nasty” one. About an hour later I asked her when the “nasty” one was coming, and she said it was already done. Five hours later the three of us literally floated out of the room, feeling quite euphoric. Partly it was relief, but it was much more than that. I felt like I had been infused with love for five hours, instead of chemicals. All three of us felt uplifted by the experience in a way I doubt we will ever forget.
That experience was a powerful example of the mind-body connection for me. I truly wanted the experience to be positive and loving, and I believe my body responded in kind. But I want to add that, sharing this story was not easy for me. I was nervous that people would judge my experience and discount it in some way. My mind went to all the things people could think or say – it’s just one session of chemo, wait till you’ve had dozens or you were pretty healthy so it didn’t affect you that much, and so on. What was underneath all those “fear thoughts” was my own vulnerability. I didn’t want to hold myself up as model for anything and yet I felt my experience could encourage others. So taking a page from Brené Brown’s wonderful book, Daring Greatly, I realized it was about being courageous and that would always include being vulnerable.
So have you had a powerful mind-body experience? Perhaps one where you felt so attuned to your body it was as if it disappeared and you were part of something greater? Or perhaps you have felt your body talking to you and you had a deep knowing that there was something you should or shouldn’t do. I believe we are all being invited back into relationship with our body. When we close it down, ignore it, or over-ride it, there is a consequence. Dr. Gabor Maté has written a powerful book on this, with a perfect title, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. As the title suggests, he explores the negative consequences of the mind-body connection, and specifically when we can’t say no, and the body says it, instead.
The next blog post is the second part of my cancer experience where I share how I experienced Dr. Emoto’s work (The Hidden Messages in Water) in action. You may recall hearing about Dr. Emoto in the film, What the Bleep Do We Know? Well I had my own, What the Bleep moment, so stay tuned.
I felt as though I could truly sense the euphoria and beauty of your first chemo experience. I see there were a few factors that affected your experience. Your intention that the experience would be positive and your trust that it was the right choice for you. Then your decision to bring two dear friends with you to elevate your time while receiving chemo…and your ability to stay present to your friends (and them to you), so that no matter what was coursing through your body, you were in the moment and experiencing the beauty of each other. Wow. Thank you for sharing and modeling how we can each truly chose how we are being, in the midst of what is happening.
Hi Kimberley, thanks so much for you comments and you have really captured the key factors that were important in this experience. I really hope it inspired others when they are in challenging situations. The other piece I really feel is significant is the shift that occurred for me regarding our tangible reality. In part two of the blog on my health I share about water turning into medicine. This experience really showed me that our reality is a lot more influence-able, than I had been thinking it was. We are in very exciting times and it feels like ancient secrets are becoming much more available to all of us. I look forward to hearing about other people’s expereinces.
Hi Lynn, I can think of several examples in friends’ lives and in my own of how the body responds to thought. In particular, I have often thought that my reluctance to do an extended trip on one certain occasion was behind the difficulties with my foot during the travel: I was literally “dragging my feet” on that trip, and it had serious physical repercussions. On a much more serious level, a friend who could not “face” leaving a troubled marriage, and who went into a depression for a couple of years, suffered nerve damage that showed up in his jaw and neck. I am simplifying here, but it is worth consideration. Thanks!
Yes Keay, the body really is listening. I was speaking with a little boy recently and explaining to him that his body really has “ears” and is listening to everything he is thinking and all his worries. Consequently the distress then shows up in his body. Dr. Gabor mate’s book When the Body Says No is a wonderful book that takes an in depth look at the whole mind-body connection and how we are not encouraged to honor ourselves and meet our needs effectively.
Underneath the mind-body connection lies the foundation on which we have built our whole sense of self. This is the level I realized needed to be addressed for anyone who has experienced trauma. It is on this level that the imprinting occurs and the system starts to establish patterns like hyper-vigilance etc. Being accident prone is another good example to consider. People will often think of this as just a fact of life- I’m just accident prone… (Identity). Accident prone is the system being out of alignment with itself. With children I often used to counsel parents to pay attention when their child had any kind of accident and have a conversation about what the child was not expressing or handling. Just a few thoughts for pondering…:)